


Don't

by Trixie Ray (Trixie_Ray)



Series: That Song Project [5]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Drama, Drinking & Talking, Drinking Games, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Feels, Team Bonding, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-24
Updated: 2015-11-24
Packaged: 2018-05-13 16:46:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5709721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trixie_Ray/pseuds/Trixie%20Ray
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony proposes a drinking game and the group accepts it. He proposes an experiment to test Natasha's limits as the game goes on and things become interesting until they turn explosive. - Set in the beginning of Age of Ultron, canon until the party. - Steve/Natasha, sort of, will get there eventually. Written for That Song Project.</p><p> </p><p>Please visit "That Song Project" series to get the link for the Spotify playlist containing the song for this story - and the ones from the other stories as well. Cheers!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't

**Author's Note:**

> This is set in the beginning of Age of Ultron – but it only goes canon until the party, all of the stuff that happened after that will not appear here.  
> The fic was written for the Project That Song. The song presented here is Don’t, by Ed Sheeran.
> 
>  **Achtung!** This story contains descriptions of ingestion of huge amounts of alcohol. I would advise that you should not attempt to recreate what appears here. This is a work of fiction and the characters who appear here are 1. a guy who has been drinking for years (Tony), 2. enhanced humans (Natasha, Bruce and Steve) and 3. a god (Thor). The mere mortals (Sam, Rhodey, Clint and Maria Hill) will not survive as long as the others will (haha). Nonetheless, in the end you can find the glossary/recipe of the drinks that appear here – it makes the story a lot funnier when you actually realize the trap they are walking into.

**Don’t**

Natasha could not help getting into the shadows when she saw Steve approaching Bruce, right after she left. She was finding it cute that the Captain was giving the good doctor a pep talk; this makes her smile softly, but this is short lived as she hears Steve’s next words.

“I’ve seen her flirt, up close. This ain’t that.” Steve was talking to Bruce. The tone of his voice made Natasha feel unsettled and she felt a pull inside her chest that she could not suppress. His tone was at the same time playful and slightly judging.

She made the decision to go away as she thought that is what you get when you eavesdrop. Still, before leaving, she heard Bruce’s voice raise up and confirm what she had heard earlier.

“Wait… what do you mean up close?” That is when it hit her, Bruce’s voice also held a tone she never thought she would hear from him; he was also judging her.

.-----..-----..-----. .-----. .-----. .-----. .-----. .-----. .-----. .-----.

“I met this girl late last year

she said, "Don't you worry if I disappear."

I told her I'm not really looking for another mistake.”

 .-----..-----..-----. .-----. .-----. .-----. .-----. .-----. .-----. .-----.

Natasha composed herself and moved away from the guys from her team as the party went on and she socialized with some of the guests. She knew the party would not last forever and sooner than she expected, the last group of people left the party.

She looked around and saw that her group was already assembling on the couches and floor, laughing about something stupid, no doubt. She started walking quietly, hoping she would be able to get inside the elevator and go to her room before somebody realized what she was doing.

No such luck.

“Hey Nat, come here!” She wanted to ignore him, but judging by the lack of sound in the room that followed her best friend’s sentence, she knew that everybody was waiting for her to join them. She turned around with her best expressionless face, the mask she used during missions. Unfortunately for her, everybody in the group had gotten to know her well enough to know when she thought something was wrong, a situation that always made her feel the need to hide her emotions from the world.

She chose to sit almost opposite to where everybody was gathering. She looked around at how well they were getting along and realized that once again her past had caught up with her and made her feel different; it was making her feel like she didn’t belong.

She quickly did an assessment of Rhodey and Sam, laughing at inside jokes they did not entirely get and telling inside jokes that some did not understand. She saw Maria Hill sitting next to Clint, laughing about something he had said. They three of them were getting along well with the rest of the team and that only made her feel as if she was not needed.

She felt her eyebrow rise without meaning to, and averted her eyes from her best friend, only to let her gaze fall on Tony, who was intently watching her.

“Let’s play a game!” True to himself, Tony was already up and moving towards the bar. He called on her without turning around from the bottles he was studying. “Care to help me, Romanoff?”

She could not help but roll her eyes at his antics, but went to help him nonetheless.

“Is anything wrong?” He asked when she brushed past him to reach for her favorite bottle of vodka – the one he bought directly from Russia and kept only for her.

She merely ignored him for a couple of seconds while she gathered a bottle of Jägermeister, one of Rum, several glasses and balanced them precariously – but without letting anything fall – between her body and arms. She started walking back to the group when she turned to address Tony. “I thought you wanted to play a game, Stark.”

Her voice was filled with a seductive tone and Tony had to laugh at the smirk she flashed him. He walked back to the where she was waiting for him and they reached the Avengers together. Neither failed to notice the sneer in Steve’s face – but each of them thought about different explanations for it.

The group helped settle the thinks on the table as the pair went over to the bar again to gather some more supplies.

“What’s the game?” Bruce asked with a feeling he already knew the answer.

“Let’s get wasted.” Tony looked at his friend as if he was stupid.

“I thought it was a game.” Maria Hill snickered at the end.

“Okay…” Tony paused for only a second as his brain came up with the answer. “Let’s do shots. Last one standing wins.”

“Wins what?” Clint was perking up at the challenge.

“Eternal glory. Right to brag. You name it.” He saw Clint’s nod of approval and spoke to Steve, Thor and Bruce to a certain extent. “You _have_ to drink the Asgardian thing from the flask you have been waving around all night. Do you have more? Can you do shots of that? Will you need to mix it?”

Thor let out a laugh and produced another flask of the Asgardian drink. “I think it will be wiser to mix it if we are going to be doing shots.”

“Any rules?” Sam asked, sitting on the floor to get more comfortable. Besides, if he fell after some rounds, he would at least be closer to the ground.

“As you can see, we mean business.” Stark motioned to the variety of bottles he and Natasha had assembled. It seemed as if Stark had moved all of his liquor bar to the table in front of them. “I have wanted to do this for months! I even had Jarvis keep a file with a couple of shooters I have been thinking of. Right, Jarvis?”

_“Yes, sir. Though I would advise you again that by judging the content of the alcohol in this list, it will be a surprise if anybody manages to finish it.”_

“This just made it a whole lot more interesting!” Clint clapped his hands with purpose and grinned. “What is on the list?”

 _“I will read you the shooters that Mr. Stark has asked me to put on the list and a couple others that I believe will fit as well.”_ It almost seemed as Jarvis was snickering. “ _Hell’s Flaming, Jägerbomb, BMW, Dirty Martini, Hellfire, Death in the Bathtub, Amaretto Balls, Darth Vader and an Asgardian Bomb. **[i]**”_

Some of the names they recognized and others they did not, which made some worried glances appear around the group.

“ _May I suggest the timing to drink the shooters as well?_ ” Jarvis seemed to be having too much fun with the idea of this game. Tony laughed, agreeing with his trusty co-pilot.

Tony asked Jarvis to send the instructions of the drinks to each avenger, so that every one of them could mix a set of the drinks.

They all set into making nine versions of each drink and ended up setting them in a line, in the order that Jarvis had recommended.

“If anybody wants to back down, now is the time.” Natasha looked around the table at everyone’s faces and did not know if she felt proud that everybody wanted to do this or if she considered them idiots for not being afraid of this challenge.

“Jarvis, keep track of us and let us know if you think we should stop.” Tony set the final details with his AI and focused on the team. “Is everybody ready?”

They all got a lighter and carefully lit up the first shot.

“Let the games begin.” Natasha smirked as she looked at Steve’s eyes.

.-----..-----..-----. .-----. .-----. .-----. .-----. .-----. .-----. .-----.

“I reckon she was only looking for a lover to burn

but I gave her my time for two or three nights

then I put it on pause 'til the moment was right;

I went away for months until our paths crossed again.”

.-----..-----..-----. .-----. .-----. .-----. .-----. .-----. .-----. .-----.

Steve felt the burn of the first drink and screwed his nose at the taste of the Absinthe. He could not help but laugh when Thor made a funny noise with his throat and lightly cursed under his breath about “ _disgusting Midgardian drinks_ ”. Bruce agreed with the God and Tony started laughing at the team – his face impassive, showing he was taking this better than the two.

“Oh guys,” His voice had a mock-pity tone, which made some of the others laugh. “This will only get worse.”

They resumed to easy conversation; Jarvis’ voice spoke again just when they thought they were recovered from the first round.

“ _Ladies and gentleman, it is time to do put the Jägermeister in the cup.”_

Steve and Thor did not know what they were supposed to do, so they were waiting for someone to take the lead for them to drink their shots. The guys stared at the liquid for a couple moments and Maria and Natasha decided to take the lead and throw it back at the same time.

Steve put the glass back at the table after he was finished and he could feel a pleasant heating inside his body, which he thought was nice after spending 70 years frozen.

“Isn’t this dangerous?” He spoke up before all of the group had finished the round. “I mean, isn’t it supposed to be dangerous to mix alcohol with energy drinks?”

The group was quiet for a few seconds and then suddenly the room erupted in laughter.

“Honestly, dude? To be honest, I think we have more chances of dying in some mission than with this game.” Clint could not stop laughing at his remark – already starting to experience the delicious detachment of reality that booze brought – and some of the others followed along with the laughter.

Steve cracked a smile, he did not think Clint’s estimates were correct, but he agreed his questioning was a bit funny.

“Stark, you are awfully quiet.” Maria remarked, cracking a laugh. “Talk to us. It’s scary when you don’t. Who knows what is going on inside your head!”

“Ha-ha, very funny.” His gaze unfocused as he got lost in thoughts again. “I was trying to remember the first time I exaggerated while drinking.”

“And?” Rhodey pressed further as he could sense everybody in the room was waiting for the answer.

“What? Uh, I don’t remember it.” He snickered as he remembered something else from the past. “I keep returning to one party though… It was right after I started MIT… At the time, I was probably sixteen.” He paused for drama.

“Go on, we all know you were the prodigy child.”

“Ouch Rhodey, you hurt me. I expected this out of Capsicle, not you. So rude!” Steve rolled his eyes as Rhodey laughed. Tony smiled. “Anyway, I went to one of the parties. I guess at first I was invited just so that they could make fun of me. But let me just say: I absolutely rocked it. After that, I got in charge of planning all the get-togethers.”

Everybody laughed at the story that did not tell anything and as a result, did not make sense. The conversation went on. The spirits were already starting to get high as one could see how the direction of the talks frequently changed.

“What is the next drink, guys?” Bruce asked, fearing what the answer would be.

“BMW.” Natasha answered without turning to him. She was instead inspecting her shooters with narrowed eyes.

“It’s Bailey’s, Malibu Rum and Whisky.” Clint provided the best answer. “Hey Nat, remember that time-” He trailed off, sure that she would pick up on the memory he was thinking about.

“How could I forget?” She smiled deviously. “It was in Budapest.”

“I believe this is a story you have yet to tell us.” Thor smiled as he raised his next cup to the center of the group – silently urging for the new round.

“Bottoms up.” Natasha tossed her drink back to avoid talking about the infamous Budapest mission. She closed her eyes for a brief moment and enjoyed the taste of the Baileys.

“Argh. Oh no, don’t try to avert this. It has been years now that we want to know about it.” Stark swayed forward.

“I am honestly surprised, Tony, that you didn’t try to hack into the Budapest mission file.” Bruce gave him an appreciative nod.

“I _did_ hack into the file.” He looked at the spies with suspicion. “There seems to be a lot of information missing from that.”

Steve thought for a second that Natasha would produce a knife out of thin air and attack Stark or that maybe Clint would produce an arrow out of thin air and attack. Neither situation happened – thankfully. Actually, the duo surprised the group as they laughed at the untold joke and that left Tony annoyed.

“Don’t be sad, Tony.” Natasha sat up straighter, her eyes glowing and her voice seductive. “Maybe one day I’ll tell you.”

The group watched as Tony’s eyes glazed for a few seconds and they all came back to reality with the sound of her laugh.

“You need to stop doing that.” Tony mumbled, acting like a ten-year-old – frown and everything –, feeling annoyed and somewhat embarrassed as he remembered a particular memory. His brain provided the images of his younger-self showing off to Natalie Rushman at his birthday party and Pepper catching him. It seemed like that had happened a thousand years ago already.

“Some would say you fall too easily for my antics.” She smirked and everybody agreed.

“Some would say it is impossible to avoid falling for your antics.” Stark mumbled back and his sentence immediately made her remember the talk she overheard earlier. Steve and Bruce thought she had tried to use her tricks on them.

“Some would beg to differ.” She said her words with a darker tone and Clint raised an eyebrow, trying to make a mental note to talk to her later about that.

“Oh, come on, Tasha.” Maria Hill spoke up, disbelieving her ears. “I still have to find a person who didn’t immediately fall for you when they met you.” She pointedly looked at the men in the group and turned her gaze back to her. “I’m definitely including these guys to the list.”

“Hey, guilty as charged here.” Sam raised both his hands and laughed wholeheartedly with the group. He could sense that Natasha did not like the topic… Aside from Steve, she was the one he most knew in the group and liked talking with. Moreover, after the mess they faced together, when she was at his house, he could see how vulnerable she could be when she thought no one was looking.

“Well thank you, good to know that my training at the Red Room wasn’t in vain.” She spoke somewhat darkly, as she always spoke when the Red Room was involved.

“How was it there?” Hill wanted to slap herself for asking, this was not the time or place to be asking these type of questions. Actually, if she thought about it, there would never be a good moment to ask Natasha this question.

The mood around the room got darker as everybody held their breath and Jarvis took this opportunity to command everybody for round four.

The Dirty Martini waiting for them made Sam and Rhodey call it quits right after drinking their shots.

“I don’t know why I try to hang out with you people.” Rhodey laughed at Sam’s comment, silently agreeing as they stumbled together to the elevator.

Tony and Steve laughed at the comment, but they suddenly felt that both men had left the room so that Natasha could talk more freely if she wanted to.

Steve looked at Natasha and saw her reaching forward to get Sam’s olive. She answered to the raised eyebrows with her classic “What? I’m Russian” response. Russians and their vodka immunity...

She ate her olive, and contemplated on how she could answer Hill’s question.

“It was messed up.” Hill nodded, thinking this was the only thing she would say about it and was surprised when she went on. “I got out with a lot of skills. But it was messed up all the same.”

Natasha fumbled with her four empty glasses while she contemplated her past.

“They used a lot of psychological tinkering as a combination with the physical training. Kind of like what happened with Bucky, but different.”

“They wiped out your memories?” Hill slapped a hand in her forehead, she couldn’t contain herself. “I don’t think I should be drinking anymore.” She looked over at Clint with a little bit of panic in her eyes, but the man smiled softly at her in reassurance.

“They created new memories… Only after I defected I realized a way to figure out what was real and what was not, but there are some things that I’m still not entirely sure.”

“You say they created memories?” Thor didn’t mean to pry, but this was one of those moments that science met magic, like he liked to say.

Natasha looked at Clint, hoping he would help her tell a story she did not have the strength to start on her own. “Помоги мне?” She spoke so fast and so low that most of the group did not notice when she asked Clint to help her. He gave her a nod that was not seen by the group and after a few seconds of silence, Clint began.

“I remember a day; it was a few weeks after I brought Nat to our side-” He looked at her, waiting for her slight nod to continue. “We were on a safe house, waiting for things to clear and for it to be safe for her to make appearance. Everything was going okay, I guess… the situation was obviously stressful in a normal condition, and _that_ was anything but normal.” He laughed quietly at the memories. “On this day I heard the sound of things being broken in her room and I went to see what was going on.”

Natasha snorted at how gently he was describing the memory. “Clint is being nice; he heard me breaking every damn furniture on the room.” She paused for a second. “Sorry about that, by the way.”

“It’s okay; you were going through a psychotic break after all.” He brushed it off as if it was nothing. He turned to address the rest of the team. “So yeah, it didn’t take long to realize she was having a break and after a near deadly fight-” He smiled at Nat, downplaying the seriousness of the situation. “I managed to contain her. She was pretty out of it, as if she did not exactly know what was going on. This happened every once in a while after she changed sides but it got better with the years until it stopped.” Clint smiled in reassurance to her then he turned pensive.

Natasha had her gaze lowered as she remembered the night that Clint had just told everyone. She could feel something inside of her stir from the memories, and an annoyed sound left her lips. She grimaced at her weakness and got up from the floor, beating a hasty retreat to the open balcony. “You’ll have to excuse me…”

The room went silent and the atmosphere became heavy. Tony, Thor and Bruce wanted to do something to lighten up the mood but didn’t know what to do. Clint was making a move to get up when Steve raised his hand and followed the Widow outside. This allowed Clint to put a hand on Hill’s back, as she had her hand on her forehead, silently cursing her questioning.

Steve stepped outside the balcony and it took him a couple of seconds to locate Natasha, who was hiding behind one of the pillars.

“Hey.” He thought it was better to call out before touching her shoulder; he didn’t want to end up in a fight with her if that brought unwanted memories for her.

“I’m alright, Rogers.” She didn’t turn around to talk to him and her voice was rough, as if she was annoyed at him or something. This in turn made Steve a little bit angry, she was acting strange with him ever since the middle of the night for no apparent reason.

“Hey, I’m only looking after you.” He shot his hands to the air, but his voice had a fighting tone to it, which didn’t go unnoticed by her.

“I don’t _need_ a babysitter.” She bumped shoulders with him as she passed him by. She was nearly reaching the door again when Steve grabbed her left wrist, effectively making her stop. They both felt an electricity rush where their skins connected, but Steve didn’t let go; in fact, it made him close his hand around her wrist more tightly.

“That’s not what it seems like, Romanoff.” He forced the steel from his eyes and tried to talk in a softer tone. “I need to be sure you are alright and fit to work in the team. I can’t risk their safety if you are going to have another breakdown.”

Natasha couldn’t stop herself and when she realized it, she had punched Steve in the face. “I thought you trusted me.” Her voice was low and she looked at him with the hurt of a betrayed person. She pried her wrist from his hand and added. “I will not have another breakdown. I haven’t had one for years now and if something went down, Clint would pick it up and shake me out of it, Captain.”

She walked back to the group and realized everybody had heard and seen their argument from the looks they were giving her and consequently Steve as he stepped back inside. She went to sit back at the floor as Steve sat on the couch.

Hill finally moved her hand from her face and started apologizing for prying. Nat brushed it off, showing a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes in an attempt to lighten up the mood and continue the game. “Anyway, but my training and all of those years doing rogue missions will pay off tonight because I will beat you all down in this game. Nobody can hold their booze like me.”

This time her smile was genuine and she couldn’t help but throwing her head back and laughing harder as Tony started to argue that he had more chances of winning than anybody else.

.-----..-----..-----. .-----. .-----. .-----. .-----. .-----. .-----. .-----. 

“She’s all over the track like a feature

and never wants to sleep,

I guess that I don't want to either;

but me and her we make money the same way,

four cities, two planes the same day.”

.-----..-----..-----. .-----. .-----. .-----. .-----. .-----. .-----. .-----.

 “Please, Stark. Natasha _always_ gets what she wants.” Clint laughed, bumping a fist lightly against her shoulder. “When I’m done, my bet is on her.”

“I would like to kindly disagree. I am mighty after all.” Even Thor’s eyes were smiling, as he believed every single word he said.

“Let’s make an experiment.”

Nobody breathed for a second as they took in Tony’s words, then they broke out in laughter.

“Oh no, no, Tony.” Bruce sat up a little straighter in the couch. “I thought this was already an experiment.”

“This is a ga-ame, Bruce. An experiment has scientific purposes.” He flashed his know-it-all smile. “Besides, I want to see the extent of Natasha’s abilities as the game moves on.”

“Be careful, Stark. She continues to be a straight shot.” Clint snickered and Tony only ignored him.

“I want to see if she really can get _anything_.” Tony raised his eyebrows jokingly and Clint gave a catcall.

“You know what, Stark? Let’s do this.” Natasha shot a grin. “Lay down your rules.”

“This does not seem like a good idea…” Steve muttered as Tony eyed the people in the room, noticing his eyes had lingered on him for a couple seconds, a speculative look in his eyes.

“You are safe for now Caps. We will do the next round of shots – except for our dearest Black Widow. She can get her shot from Thor. Thor, do everything in your power to prevent her from getting the drink.”

“Is that it?” Natasha smirked.

“You can’t use your hands to do this.” Tony smirk faltered when her smirk was still kept in place. Piece of cake.

Jarvis chose the moment to announce they should drink the next round and Natasha pushed her shot for Thor to reach. Everybody except for her drank the shot and she gave them a minute to adjust to the new round before moving to her prey.

She got up and smoothed her skirt, allowing herself to feel the pleasant buzz go through her body from the previous drinks. Tony leaned forward to enjoy the show, appreciating when he saw that once again she didn’t falter in her Louboutins.

She sashayed until where Thor was sitting – right next to Steve. She had a seductive expression and smiled when she saw her prey licking his lips. He would fall easily. Instead of moving right in front of him, she quietly circled until she was behind the couch he was sitting at leaned forward.

The others in the room were intrigued as they couldn’t hear what she was whispering at Thor’s ear – not even Steve who was right next to them could hear her –, but they were amused with the expressions the god was showing. First, he smiled, his smile started growing bigger and then suddenly it started to falter. His eyes flashed with something that resembled fear and he cracked, leaning forward to the table to reach for her drink and offering it to Natasha.

“Thank you, baby.” She leaned forward, took the glass between her lips, and leaned back, drinking it without her hands. “Bonus points for me for not using my hands not even to hold my drink, Stark.” She said smugly after drinking her shooter.

It was safe to say that everybody was eyeing her suspiciously, as they were all curious to know what she had said to get her drink.

“How did you do that?” Bruce asked, dazed.

Natasha smiled. “A lady never tells.”

Hill chose this moment to start a laughing fit that ended up with her resting her head on the table and when she didn’t raise her head, Clint gently raised it for her and found out that she had passed out cold.

“I’ll take her to her room.” Bruce said getting up and grimacing. “The Other Guy isn’t enjoying this anymore.”

“What was in that last shot, anyway?” Stark asked eyeing Clint, whom he could bet looked like the next one to go home.

“ _It was a shot of Hellfire, sir. A shot of Goldschläger with a splash of Tabasco sauce._ ” Jarvis was quick to provide an answer.

“What is Goldschläger… and Tabasco?” Thor asked.

“It cinnamon flavored liquor, and hot pepper sauce.” Clint answered, his face heating up.

“Oh, then this explains the pleasant burn I feel inside.” They didn’t know if he was being serious or just being sarcastic. With Thor, you never knew.

.-----..-----..-----. .-----. .-----. .-----. .-----. .-----. .-----. .-----.

“And those shows have never been what it's about

but maybe we'll go together and just figure it out.

I'd rather put on a film with you and sit on the couch

but we should get on a plane, or we'll be missing it now.”

.-----..-----..-----. .-----. .-----. .-----. .-----. .-----. .-----. .-----.

 “It is truly amazing that only now you start being affected by all of the alcohol we have been ingesting.” Tony said looking intently at Natasha.

“What makes you say that?” Natasha raised an eyebrow.

“Well, you are starting to get very red in the face and neck.”

Clint threw his head back in laughter as Natasha shot him daggers with her eyes; as long as it weren’t the real ones, he would keep laughing.

“It’s not the alcohol, Stark. It’s the cinnamon. Nat’s way too sensitive to cinnamon…. Gets her hot all of the time.”

“Hot and bothered you mean.” Tony smiled mischievously as Clint doubled over with laughter. It was truly amazing that she wasn’t throwing knives or shooting them already.

“What do you mean?” Steve asked not understanding what was going on.

“Cin-cinnamon is v-very aphrodisiac.” Clint tried to regain some composure but failed after answering the question and seeing the look on Steve’s face.

He could feel the warmth of the alcohol and just kept laughing with Tony – who seemed to be holding up just slightly better than he was. Even Thor joined in the laughing fit, albeit he wasn’t laughing on the floor like the spy and the engineer were.

“You were just stripped of your best-friend title, Barton. And you, Stark, just forget about that deal we had made earlier.” Natasha rolled her eyes at them.

“Come on, Nat!” Clint sobered up slightly, just enough to manage to stop laughing and then he looked at Stark, trying to convey some secret message to him.

“Come on; say that you didn’t think this is funny.” Stark rolled his eyes when she just stared at him impassively. “Doesn’t this make you want to laugh at all?”

“No.” Her answer was short and should have caused the desired effect of stopping the subject if her face hadn’t been so red. She was clearly feeling warmer; they could tell this by the way she discreetly put her hand flat against her warm chest.

“Is this part of your training?” Tony cocked his head to the side, completely over his laughing fit as his mind thought of something else entirely. “I mean, to be able to control yourself like that?” He narrowed his eyes and exclaimed. “Experiment time!”

“Oh no…” Steve groaned at the couch next to Thor, who nodded in agreement, but he had a smile on his face.

“Let’s see how long it takes until you crack!” Tony exclaimed dramatically, throwing his hands up for more emphasis.

“What are you suggesting, Stark?” Natasha was impassive, which in turn made Tony feel even more determined.

“A tickling contest.” He raised an eyebrow and smiled sweetly at her. “I believe Clint should be the one to tickle you – since he knows you better than us.”

“What’s the point in this?” Steve asked. He didn’t want to be a party pooper, but there were so many ways this could go wrong.

Tony fought the urge to roll his eyes, but still answered somewhat impatiently. “I want to see how much auto-control she has.”

Natasha considered it for a while and decided to nod her approval. “Okay, how do you want to do this?”

“Jarvis, any suggestions?” Tony talked to the AI, trusting him more than he trusted himself at that moment – especially with Natasha’s safety on the line.

“ _Well, sir, there are many ways to play the game. From my research online, I saw on the YouTube videos that the person who is being tickled generally is restrained somehow… this would prevent the person from protecting the area being tickled. I’ve seen several methods, such as simply tying the hands behind the person’s back to restraining the person by someone stronger holding them down._ ” Jarvis concluded. “ _It obviously would depend on what Mrs. Romanoff feels more comfortable with._ ”

Natasha considered it for a moment; she wasn’t fond of things holding her down. Even though people were unpredictable, she would always think they were the lesser of two evils. With people she could always fight without a problem, with things she had to have time and patience to break free.

“You can hold me down.” She said also in an impassive tone of voice looking at Thor. He could see in her eyes that she trusted him and he felt immensely honored that she did. “Can you wait while I go change clothes?” She got up without waiting for their approval.

“ _May I suggest you leave your weapons in your room, Mrs. Romanoff?_ ”

“Thank you for reminding me, Jarvis, I will.” She laughed when the four men kept staring at her body, trying to figure out where she was concealing her weapons in that tight outfit. “Keep imagining, boys.”

The elevator was about to close the doors when she heard Tony’s half shout. “Bring back those shoes!”

She allowed a small laugh to pass her lips as she considered what could be the next experiment Tony would want to conduct. Overall, she was having fun and as long as the night kept going that way, she wouldn’t complain.

She allowed herself to feel all of the alcohol she had ingested and while she changed into a pair of stretchable jeans and a black t-shirt, she considered how much more alcohol she could handle. She decided to use the toilet before returning to the party and she fanned herself while she looked at the bathroom mirror. She was indeed red in the face; the cinnamon was really getting to her.

She fought the urge to throw water on her face and willed herself to calm down. Once she was satisfied she returned to party and found the four men laughing about something, apparently they had been trying to lift Thor’s hammer.

“I’m glad you brought the shoes, Tash!” Tony smiled and got back to experiment mode while Natasha put the Louboutins on the floor next to her couch, staying barefoot for the challenge.

“Jarvis please keep track of the time, will you?” It was rather comical to see how dependent of the A.I. Tony actually was. So, I think it will be better if we move to that open space. This way, no one will bump into anything.” Tony pointed to a corner of the large room that did not have any furniture around. “Barton, your job is to tickle Natasha until she surrenders.” Natasha laughed at that but Tony ignored her. “Thor, your job is to hold her down so that she can’t kill Barton.”

This time it was Thor and Steve that laughed.

“Natasha, your job is to hang on as much as you can.” He smirked mischievously, which in turn made her show a secret smile, as if she knew something he did not.

Everybody with roles nodded and prepared for the task. Natasha was lying on the floor with Thor sitting cross-legged by her head, gently holding down her arms next to her head while Clint was studying Natasha’s body and figuring out which places to tickle and obtain success.

“What is your safeword, Nat?” Steve asked her gently before the game could begin.

She thought for a while, silently thanking him for reminding them of this detail while Tony started a ramble on where did Steve learn the meaning of the word “safeword” and why, since it was generally used in BDSM games.

“Katniss.” She smirked at her best-friend, who didn’t look amused at all. “My safeword is Katniss.” She turned her head up and got a nod from Thor. “Do your worst, Barton.”

And this is how it started. First Clint started to tickle her bare feet, the most obvious place to start the game and they found out she wasn’t ticklish there in the slightest. He later moved to tickle her under her arms and he was amused when she suddenly stopped tracking his movements and started to stare at a point in the ceiling.

He knew that look, it was the look she always had when she was being interrogated, it was the look she had when she was trying to maintain control over herself.

“Are you okay, Nat?” He asked trying to annoy and distract her from her task. “You look like you’re trying to concentrate.”

He moved his fingers like crazy and he could see her brow creasing.

“Bite me, Barton.” Her words came out snappy and he supposed he should be offended because of the way she was talking to him, but he knew it was just the game. Her words actually gave him an idea as he remembered something.

“I can’t bite you, babe, not when I’m supposed to be tickling you.” As he said that, he started moving his hands to her neck, but gently, very gently. He remembered a mission a long time ago, Natasha was with a mark and the guy had started to kiss her neck. Clint was on the building from the other side of the street, with his trusted arrows, watching in case Nat needed assistance, and he almost shot an arrow prematurely when he saw that she immediately froze and squirmed away from the guy.

Initially Clint thought she might be having a flashback and poised himself to strike, but then, as he saw that she disguised her movements, he understood that the mark had not triggered anything. It was on this day that he realized Natasha was very sensitive on the neck.

As he slowly and gently moved his fingers against her neck, the men all saw her body turn completely rigid and her mouth was set on a line.

“Come on babe, you just need to surrender and I’ll stop this.” Clint smiled as she briefly moved her eyes to him in annoyance and quickly averted them back to the spot in the ceiling.

Clint started to move one hand to her side as he kept the other tickling her neck. The feeling of being tickled in both places made Natasha squirm for the first time and a small groan left her mouth for showing such weakness. Her breathing was becoming labored and as Clint decided to concentrate on her belly, she began to feel herself lose control.

“Come on babe, surrender.” Clint said with a singsong tone of voice as he gently began to increase the intensity of the tickles on her belly.

The result was that she started to squirm so much that he gently sat on top of her to be able to continue the game. He could see the moisture on her forehead that showed just how much strength she had and he noticed how the sides of her mouth were starting to turn up even with her trying to keep them down.

When he kept one hand ticking her belly and moved the other to her underarm she could not help but let a laugh escape her lips, and that was all it took to crumble her resolve and soon the room was filled with her laughter as she tried to escape Clint’s restless fingers.

“Jackpot.” Clint said smiling; he planned to continue this until she surrendered.

Tony could not help but laugh at the scene, once more the alcohol was getting to him. Steve was laughing quietly at the two spies, who were acting like children at that moment and Thor was almost drowning Nat’s laughter with the sound of his own.

Clint prepared for the final strike and moved his hands back to her neck and that was her final straw.

“Katniss! Katniss!” Thor let her go immediately and Clint playfully pinched her uncovered belly before getting up from her.

Natasha just kept laughing hard at the floor and moved her arms down to hold her belly as the laughing fit moved on. It took her two solid minutes to calm down and for the laughing to turn into spaced giggles.

“Jarvis, the result?”

“ _It took Miss Romanoff six minutes to start laughing and another five to say the safeword. A total of eleven minutes._ ” Jarvis waited as she giggled a little more to continue. “ _Impressive numbers, if I may add._ ”

A last giggle escaped her lips as she swiftly got up from the floor. She dried her tears with the smile still on her face and looked at Tony expectantly.

“Okay, okay.” He put both his hands up, indicating his defeat. “It really is impressive.”

“Thank you.” She smiled brighter at them. “I think the next round is due now!” She laughed as Thor’s laugh shook the walls of the room and sneaked her arm around his waist as they moved back to sit at the couches.

“Natasha, you are mighty.” He shook her shoulder with his arm and they sat down next to each other. She did not even seem to notice the change; she was sitting right between Thor and Steve now and did not seem to mind at all.

.-----..-----..-----. .-----. .-----. .-----. .-----. .-----. .-----. .-----.

“Wish I'd have written it down,

the way that things played out

when she was kissing him.

How? I was confused about;

she should figure it out while I sat here.”

.-----..-----..-----. .-----. .-----. .-----. .-----. .-----. .-----. .-----.

 “Guys.” Clint’s voice held a serious tone and they all tensed up. “I think I might throw up if I drink another round.”

He wrinkled his nose as he eyed the single olive on his shooter glass and passed it quickly to Natasha.

“This was absolutely disgusting!” Tony’s face had a grimace and one of his eyes was threatening to close due to the strong taste of the alcohol.

“I have to agree this wasn’t the best drink I have ever taken.” Steven looked around, wishing he could eat or drink something – without alcohol, mind you – to wash the taste away.

“What was that?” Thor was faring better than the other men were but he still had an expression that showed just how much he disliked the drink.

“It was vodka.” Natasha provided the answer as she got all of their olives and brought them to her shooter cup so that she could eat them. “And black olive juice.”

“ _Miss Romanoff is right. The drink was called_ Death in the Bathtub _. It consisted of vodka with black olive juice and the black olive on top.”_

“How could you possibly know that?” Tony was still having trouble to stop the grimace.

“Because it tasted like vodka and olive juice.” She shrugged as she ate the last olive. “It’s a gift.”

They all stared at her for a couple of seconds, trying to forget the horrible taste.

“How are you two handling this?” Clint asked with narrow eyes, suspicious that Steve and Thor seemed unaffected by the game.

Thor laughed wholeheartedly, which was already a statement that he was not _that_ sober. Natasha leaned back on the couch and on the god’s body, laughing along with him.

Steve was about to answer – somewhat more soberly than Thor’s attempt had been – but he was cut off by Tony’s words.

“Shots!” He got up, threw his hands in the air, and then just as quickly he pointed to Steve and Thor. “You will have an extra round with Tequila, because you are way too sober and this will help you keep up with us.”

“Tony, I don’t think Tequila will change much.” Steve had an eyebrow raised.

“Patience, young Grasshopper.” Tony started walking and smiled fondly when Steve said he got that reference. “Follow me, please.”

He obviously went to the bar and while he searched for the tequila, the rest of the group reached him. He produced the bottle for their inspection and Natasha whistled while Clint looked away in disgust from the sight of the hard liquor.

“This isn’t just some Tequila, my dear friends. This is Patrón Silver.” Tony gathered clean shot glasses and put on the counter. He then produced the second bottle. “And this is Patrón Cafe Incendio.”

“Shit just got serious.” Clint clapped Steve’s back as he shook his head at Tony. “Lay down the rules, Stark.”

“Body shots.” Those two simple words made Clint almost double down in laughter as he saw Natasha’s expression. After a while, she just rolled her eyes at Clint and moved closer to the counter.

“Which of you boys will help me up?” She gestured to the counter; her voice had the right amount of seduction and she was pleased when Thor lifted her up.

“First we’ll do with the Silver and then if you can keep up we can do Incendio.” Tony busied himself with cutting some lemons and later grabbing salt. “Lay down, Tash.”

Natasha did as instructed and laid on the counter; crossing her feet she acted as if she was not just about to participate in a body shot game.

Tony lifted her shirt enough to show her stomach and leaned down on her body to lick a trail at her belly and then put salt on top of it. He then smiled deviously and repeated the action, but at her neck.

“Let’s not forget the lemon!” Thor and Steve laughed as he placed a slice of lemon below her bellybutton, close to the pants.

“Grow up, Stark.” She laughed and he put the other lemon at her mouth, he then he poured two shots of Tequila Silver.

“Alright, who’s first?” Tony smiled presenting Natasha’s body.

Thor clapped a hand on Steve’s back, making him move forward. He quickly licked the salt from her stomach and downed the shot that Tony was offering him. He did not hesitate when he moved to get the lemon from her mouth but he refused to make eye contact later after their lips touched.

Tony laughed and Clint once again clapped the captain’s back as the tip of his ears began to turn red. Natasha was smiling at the silliness of the group at that moment, but the smile quickly left her lips as Thor leaned down to lick the salt from her neck.

She could swear the god was deliberately taking his time to lick it, because she could feel the low hum from his quiet laugh as she began to squirm beneath him. Thor accepted Tony’s shot and leaned down once again to grab the lemon that was dangerously placed low on her stomach. Her breath hitched when she felt Thor’s hot breath on her skin.

“Not fair.” Natasha said half-serious half-joking as she sat up again, taking a paper towel to dry her skin.

“How are you holding up?” Tony asked; the happiness clearly expressed in his eyes. “I’m not talking with you, Nat.”

He simply ignored her as she flipped him off.

“I don’t want to give you two a break because the competition still doesn’t seem fair.” He waved the other Tequila bottle and his smile turned larger when he had an idea and nudged Natasha. “Hey, can I use your breasts?”

“Stark!” Steve’s outraged voice made everybody laugh and even he laughed a little bit later. He was sure they would not let this one go as well as the “language” warning that had slipped from him during the last mission.

“Do not spill.” Her voice was even but her eyebrows were raised as she punctuated each word with a pause and Tony did not even dare to think what she would do to him if he messed something up. Choosing the safer path, he poured the dark liquid first to a shooter glass and then placed it between Natasha’s breasts.

“I’m sitting this one out.” Steve waived at Thor. “He is a god after all.”

Tony nodded but Clint lowly spoke. “How can you miss that opportunity?” His mock whisper was obviously heard by Natasha who just laughed at the idiocy of her best friend. She looked at the god and for a moment, she lost herself in his eyes.

She was brought back to reality when he stepped towards her and gently but firmly held her waist in place. When he lowered his head to grab the shooter she moved her head back a little bit, feeling the need for air after having him so close.

Thor took the empty glass from his mouth and set it back at the counter while he shook his head.

“This burns!” He laughed wholeheartedly at the different feeling. He could sense the path of the fire as it moved down his body.

“This is still not fair.” Natasha sighed and hopped off the counter. “I want to be part of the fun as well.” She nodded to Stark who just showed her the bottles, waiting for her to make a choice. She nodded to the coffee tequila and ordered Thor to sit down in a nearby chair. She tilted his head backwards and carefully placed the glass between his lips.

She smiled with purpose as she sat on top of him, putting each knee next to his body, effectively framing him. She could see his Adam’s apple moving and leaned closer; she placed her hands on his chest for balance and felt him place his hands on her waist in return. She then lowered her head and took the glass from him, drinking it in one gulp.

She took the glass from her mouth with one hand while the other moved to his hair and she kissed him before anybody could move. The kiss was intense despite the short duration; she could feel him gently putting pressure to her waist and she smiled, breaking the kiss and moving away from his lap.

“Remember this the next time you think about playing games with me, boys.” She winked at Thor and smirked at Clint and Tony’s expressions. She put the glass on the counter and as she waited a few more seconds for them to come back to reality, she looked once more at Steve and tried to understand his expression.

.-----..-----..-----. .-----. .-----. .-----. .-----. .-----. .-----. .-----.

“I never intended to be next

but you didn't need to take him to bed that's all

and I never saw him as a threat…

until you disappeared with him to have sex of course.

It's not like we were both on tour,

we were staying on the same fucking hotel floor.”

.-----..-----..-----. .-----. .-----. .-----. .-----. .-----. .-----. .-----.

 “Do you think it’s wise to drink this new round, Stark?” Natasha had a playful smile on her lips.

“Do _you_ think it’s wise? It will have cinnamon after all.” Tony smirked at his retort.

“Oh, I can handle myself with cinnamon.” She answered his question while raising her shot glass.

“My bet is still on Tasha.” Clint spoke slowly, his words slurring slightly, but they all got the gist.

“And I can handle myself with whisky. Cheers!” He winked and downed the shooter, shivering in response just a few seconds later. “Fucking shit.”

“My thoughts exactly.” Natasha grimaced, as she had never been a fan of Amaretto. In no time though, she began to feel the burn. “They aren’t joking with that tagline.” She continued to grimace – the first time they saw her actively react to a shooter.

Before Steve or Thor could ask, Clint provided the answer, since Tony was looking like he was not ready to talk again just yet. “Tastes like Heaven, burns like Hell.”

Tony still had not spoken again, seemingly lost in displeasure and a tad of regret for drinking the last round. Thor was telling Steve about an Asgardian drink and Natasha was sitting cross-legged in the floor between the two men, swaying slightly – not enough for someone to notice if they were not paying close attention to her.

“Nat, are you swaying or is it me?” Clint cocked his head to the side, unable to tell. This made Tony raise his head and focus back on the Russian spy.

“Spangles, is she swaying?” Tony once again ignored as Natasha flipped him off.

Steve looked intently at Natasha, and he was surprised to find that she could not keep herself straight, swaying ever so slightly, he wondered how Clint had noticed it. “She is.” He leaned back at the couch, letting himself enjoy the pleasant buzz the alcohol was giving him.

“Tha-at is bad.” Tony whined. “My next experiment was related to balance. I wanted to see how far you could go with the drink and still rock those heels.” He pointed lazily at the shoes she had left next to the couch earlier.

They all watched as she closed her eyes and took three calming breaths. They were surprised to see the change in her, her back was completely straight and she stopped swaying. Even the red heat creeping her neck and face seemed to have diminished.

“I can still do that.” Natasha raised an eyebrow and got up. When she started putting her high heels, the four men got up and started towering over her as if they expected her to tumble down and need their help.

“You don’t have to do this, Nat.” Thor spoke softly, trying to make her forget the challenge as she could end up hurting herself.

She raised an eyebrow in defiance and started walking in the heels to the balcony – the four following close.

She quickly perched herself to the stone railing –with striking ability and balance – before they had the chance to get closer to her. After she did, they started to approach her carefully. Everybody seemed to have sobered up with that.

“Jarvis, get the suit on standby!” Tony’s voice was on edge as he calculated in how much time one of his suits could reach her if she fell, since there was no time for him to put the suit and go after her. If only she had the suit’s bracelets, then the suit could attach to her as he had done when Loki had thrown him out of the window.

Thor held his hand in the direction of the door and Mjölnir came flying directly to it, he would not chance it leaving it in the other room if Natasha needed it.

“What do you think you are doing? Get down right now, Romanoff!” Steve’s voice had his usual Captain commanding tone, but that did not scare Natasha. In fact, that only made her even more determined.

Clint put his arm in front of Steve as he saw that the Captain was about to take a step forward. “Stop it. This will only fuel her more. She can handle herself; otherwise she wouldn’t be up there.” He knew his best friend well, and knew that their attitudes were only making her try to prove herself even harder.

Natasha slowly stood up and started walking; nearly giving the four of them heart attacks, as she was not looking down, focusing instead on Steve’s angry face.

“What makes you think that you can order me? We are not in a mission, _Captain_.” Her voice slowly started to betray her emotions as it became heavier with the anger she was feeling. She reached the opposite side of the railing and got down, much to their relief.

Clint was the first to reach her and he engulfed her in a hug that showed her just how much worried he had been – despite his cool façade a few moments before. She returned the embrace, not finding in herself to be mad with her best friend that only was concerned with her safety.

Even though she was safe, the tension in the group was palpable. Steve and Natasha were facing each other, angry expressions on their faces as they prepared to fight once again.

"Don't look at me like that." Natasha spat the words.

"Like what?" Steve spoke, fury slowly lacing his voice.

"Like you don't approve my actions. I'm the only one who has to approve them.”

"Is that so? I thought you craved our approval." He saw her mouth open to answer but did not give her time to speak. "Enlighten me then, do you approve your actions?" Natasha narrowed her eyes and felt her body move forward; as she knew that in that moment, he was not only talking about her little stunt at the railing, but about other things as well. From her decision to drink so much in the game to the decision to play with Thor.

Steve felt Thor's hand on his chest as he saw Clint and Tony rush to restrain Nat.

"What is going on with you two?" The archer whispered, but with the tension, they all heard his words.

" _Ask the Widow_. She's the one who started all of this." Steve put his hands up and backed away from Thor.

"Oh, _Steven_. It seems that you don't know me that well after all." Natasha walked away from Clint and Tony and went to the elevator, clearly signaling she wished to be left alone.

Not being one to let her just walk away, Clint quickly ran after her and was able to reach the elevator before the doors closed. The tension radiating from her was almost palpable and he refrained from talking until they reached the floor she shared with Steve – one more reason for him to have followed her. They definitely did not need to find one of their bodies in the morning.

.-----..-----..-----. .-----. .-----. .-----. .-----. .-----. .-----. .-----.

“And I wasn't looking for a promise or commitment,

but it was never just fun

and I thought you were different.

This is not the way you realize what you wanted,

it's a bit too much, too late if I'm honest.”

.-----..-----..-----. .-----. .-----. .-----. .-----. .-----. .-----. .-----.

If there was something that Steve feared, it was sleeping and feeling cold. Ever since before the serum, when he was frail, the cold always brought sickness and the night always brought the fear of not waking up. His time at the ice only worsened his aversion to those two things.

Steve laid awake in his bed, not finding the will to sleep even after just lying there for two hours. His mind kept going back to the moment when he saw Clint leaving her room. It was nothing unusual, as he had seen the archer do that several times, but it felt somewhat different this time.

He got up and turned the lights back on – realizing that the sun would be up in a couple more hours – intent on getting his sketchbook to draw but a noise startled him. He looked in the direction of the door, not sure if he had really heard something or if it was all in his head. Everything seemed quiet for the time when he was waiting and he decided it had probably been his imagination playing tricks on him.

He had just sat down at his bed when he heard a noise again, and this time it was accompanied by a scream. He knew whom the voice belonged to, Natasha was the only one living on that floor with him and he knew it was impossible for the sound to have come from another level.

He immediately got his shield and moved to her door, opening and expecting to find someone in there with her. By the sounds he was hearing, it looked like she was in the middle of a fight but when he opened the door though, he saw she seemed to be alone.

The mattress of her bed was half way on the floor; the sheets were strewn across it. He noticed that the table she had in the room was toppled and its chair was broken. He continued to take in the scene and found out that every furniture was either toppled or completely broken – the noises had probably been muffed by the walls.

He looked at Natasha and realized that she had not even noticed that he was in the room with her. He took this opportunity to try to evaluate her carefully. She was wearing shorts and a loose t-shirt, her pajamas he assumed, but the clothes looked wrong on her, disarrayed, as if somebody had been grabbing them.

He double-checked and again saw that they were the only ones in the room, the window was closed and there was no way someone could have broken into Stark Tower – Jarvis would immediately let them know. He concluded that everybody had demons, and sometimes they came to haunt without previous notice.

Natasha turned to look at him at that moment, and even though she was looking at him, she was not really seeing him. In turn, Steve could see the turmoil going on inside her, the confusion, and worst of all, the tears.

In a split second, her confusion turned into rage, but he could see she had not recognized him yet – her rage was different than the one directed at him earlier. Natasha attacked him and he barely had time to think on an approach to deal with this, but it was enough for him to know what to do.

Steve let go of the shield and worked on blocking her punches. He kept his full attention in case she had her trusted knives hidden somewhere. At one point she started moving fast, to elude him and ended up climbing on his back, her arms around his neck as she tried to give him a headlock. He started walking backwards, trying to loosen her from his body but ended up tripping. Steve could feel his body falling and his biggest concern was that if Natasha continued to cling to him, he would end up crushing her.

Natasha must have realized that as well because she let go at the last minute and jumped to the side. While half of the mattress cushioned Steve’s fall, Natasha fell entirely on the hard floor and she ended up hitting her head.

For a second her vision was clouded but it came back right when Steve was approaching her to check if she was hurt and it frightened him when he saw her first instinct was to get to her knees and hurry away from him, to a nearby wall. She looked terrified at that moment, and all he could do was raise up his hands to try to show her that he meant no danger.

Steve knelt down, still at a safe distance away from her, and watched Nat. He felt helpless but he did not know what he could do to help her – he was so afraid of terrifying her even more. She seemed so confused, so lost. He never thought he would see her like this – not even when Clint mentioned her previous psychotic breaks.

She always seemed so strong, so sure of herself, so in control of her emotions. She had even tried to show them exactly that all through the night.

Steve was brought back to reality by the sound of her voice. He focused his gaze on her and saw how she held her head with her shaking hands.

“‘I’m one of 28 young ballerinas with the Bolshoi. The training is hard, but the glory of the soviet culture and the warmth of my parents… my… parents… makes up for it. No… No, that’s not right.”* She could not downplay how her voice cracked, it was impossible with the mess that she felt inside her mind.

Steve touched her shoulder, knowing that she could very well attack him easily, but he did not care because he knew that he would need to use physical contact to bring her back to reality. He searched her eyes, silently begging her to come back. “Nat-“

Natasha lowered her gaze and tried to repeat the right sentence. “‘I’m one of 28 Black Widow agents with the Red Room. The training is hard, but the glory of the soviet supremacy, and the warmth of my parents…. all my… parents…. makes up for…”*

He watched in concern as she stopped talking, it seemed she had forgotten the sentence after all those years.

She looked up and saw his intense blue eyes looking at her with concern. She felt as if he knew her and he looked like he was genuinely concerned. Maybe that was the reason why she asked him the next question. “ _Who am I?_ ”

The lost tone of her voice did not go unnoticed by Steve; even in her whisper, her desperation was evident. On the other hand, maybe it was evident because of the whisper.  He sat down in front of her and held her hands.

“You are Natasha Romanoff. You are the Black Widow and used to work for the Red Room.” He saw her cringe. “But that was years ago. You met Clint and you defected and started working for SHIELD.” He squeezed her hands. “You helped unmask that SHIELD was corrupt. You are an Avenger, the best agent I have ever met, the most resilient woman I have ever seen. And I have the pleasure of having your friendship when I am not being an asshole.”

He watched as she slowly raised her head and met his eyes, uncertainty clear even through the unshed tears. “Steve?”

“Nat.” He let out a sigh of relief when she jumped to his arms and he lowered his head to her hair.

They were quiet for a few minutes, each for different reasons. Natasha was still shaking and it did not seem that it was lessening as the time passed.

Steve backed away from her just enough so that he could lift her up. He carried her to his room, remembering the time when they were almost blown to pieces at Camp Lehigh. She was hurt then and she was hurt now.

He put her in his bed and covered her up, trying to get her warm and get rid of the shock, that was why she was shaking so hard. He was about to move away from the bed to get her another blanket but she just held on tight to him.

She did not have to voice her question because he understood what she wanted. He climbed to the bed and engulfed her in another tight warm hug. They lost track of time and it was only when the sun was coming up that she finally stopped shivering.

“Thank you.” Her voice was low and raspy. She looked up at his eyes and he could see she was not mad at him anymore. She probably must have seen the question in his face because she quickly added an explanation. “I heard you talking to Bruce earlier.”

As he figured what was going on, he shook his head and lowered his gaze, embarrassed by the words he had said. He brought her closer to his body and kissed the top of her head.

Steve asked Jarvis to close the blinds and in no time, they were sleeping. Each of them keeping the other’s nightmares at bay.

**Author's Note:**

> The two quotes marked with this sign “*” were taken from the comic Black Widow: Deadly Origin #2.  
> “Помоги мне” translates into “help me”.


End file.
